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The People Gardener Podcast with Rhonda Delaney
The People Gardener Podcast with Rhonda Delaney
REFRAME - Finding Strength in Self-Care and Inner Dialogue
Ever felt trapped by your own thoughts after a rough week? This episode of the People Gardener podcast tackles the critical role of managing internal dialogue and how it shapes our perception and experiences. I recount my own challenging week, starting with a painful fall and a jam-packed schedule that tested my mental resilience. Through this personal narrative, I highlight how easily negative self-talk can creep in, setting unreasonable expectations and intensifying our struggles. Together, we explore the importance of self-compassion and the freedom to adjust our plans when life gets tough.
Beyond the personal story, I'll introduce some exciting updates and resources available through my website and the Raving Fans Society app. By subscribing to my email list, you'll stay up-to-date on the latest in people, gardening, and leadership. The Raving Fans Society app offers a treasure trove of resources for small business owners and leaders, including a comprehensive library, monthly group coaching, and insightful guest speakers. With free and paid membership options, there's something for everyone aiming to elevate their leadership journey. Tune in to discover how these tools can support and inspire you.
THOUGHT REFRAME WORKSHEET
Well, hey there, welcome to the People Gardener podcast. I'm Rhonda Delaney, your host, also known as the People Gardener, thrilled to put this podcast together to help small business owners, new business owners, frustrated business owners and aspiring leaders, whether they're inside business or outside. Each week, we bring you some actionable steps so that you can actually improve your skill as a leader. That's what we're about. We're here to help you become a better leader by giving you access to lots of different perspectives. By giving you access to lots of different perspectives, the guests are varied. We're thrilled to have them. Get out your pen, get out your paper and be ready to learn Every single episode. You're going to be able to take something away that you can implement. Are you ready? Let's get to work. Well, hey there. Welcome back to the People Gardener podcast. Happy to have you here.
Speaker 1:I'm going to talk about internal dialogue and actually share a little bit about the internal dialogue that's been going on in my head this week, and that's why I want to talk about it, because it is so real. Why I want to talk about it? Because it is so real, starting off with the studies that show 95% of the thoughts that we think are repeats from yesterday. 80% of those 95% of thoughts are negative. So I'm sitting there going. It's a wonder that we have any original thought or any positive thought. This is how we're wired, that we have to get control of and really be present to the thoughts that are going through our mind and are affecting how we operate in our day and also affecting how we feel about ourselves and about any given situation. So this week, busy week, I'm in training for Facebook ads because, yes, the Raining Fan Society is going to be opening up for enrollment, so I'm going to be doing some advertising. So from 9 to about 10.30, I am full on hands-on learning how to do things. So that's every day this week. So on Monday I started that training and I finished the training.
Speaker 1:One of the things that Trev had asked me to do was to research batteries for the motorhome. Well, I had done that and I thought, okay, I'm going to get up, I'm going to take a walk, go out to the shop and let him know what I'd found. So I go out there and I'm coming out of the shop and there's a bit of a slope and it has poured rain and I go down the slope and my feet just slip, start to slip out from me. I thought I'd grab myself and then no, I landed on my left hip, my left shoulder got jolted and so, yeah, this 65-year-old broad picks herself up off the mud everywhere, right, and we carry on. And you know, we're looking at the batteries as I'm talking. I can just feel my whole body stiffening up, and so I'm walking back into the house.
Speaker 1:It really knocked the stuffing out of me and it's kind of like, wow, okay, typically Mondays are the day that I do my prep and get myself organized and record my podcast. So what was going on in my head? Well, some thoughts about falling, getting older, possibly breaking my hip. The other thought was well, if you weighed less, it wouldn't have been so hard to get up. Maybe you wouldn't have fallen because there wouldn't have been so much pressure. Her large shoes. And then I'm in the house and it's like, whoa, this is definitely stepping up. So I get the heating pad and I'm going, okay, so I'm just going to sit here and the thought is, oh, come on, it's a little bit of a fall. Quit being such a wimp, it's not that big a deal. And then catching that thought and saying, whoa, wait a sec. That was a shock to my system. It's okay to sit here and regroup.
Speaker 1:And then, as I continued to get stiffer and stiffer, in my head is oh, how are you? Like it's just not possible to actually produce this podcast now, like my mind was not ready for it, my body was not ready for it. And then I started judging myself that I was having those feelings. So I went and had a nap, like I was asleep for an hour and, okay, I felt a bit better, but I was definitely stiffer. I felt better mentally, but I was more stiff, and so I could not get myself. So there was judgment that I hadn't done what I had intended to do.
Speaker 1:So then on Tuesday I'm in the class. Right after the class I have to head 50 minutes away to my parents, look after some things there and go to a funeral of a family friend and then be back here for 4 o'clock to be in coaching my business coaching for two hours. Well, I think it might have been an hour and a half hour and 45, five minutes, and I still I haven't done what I learned from the morning and I hadn't processed what I had just learned in the coaching call. And then I still hadn't done the podcast. I still hadn't done the podcast. The thoughts in my head is like come on, there's the evening and in my body I'm tired, my mind's tired, my body's tired, it's still very stiff and sore. And so then we're here this morning. Wednesday is when I actually am getting this podcast done.
Speaker 1:But the unkind thoughts and the unkind words, the unreasonable expectation and this is all self-imposed. There isn't another soul here in this house that's telling me what I should do or what I need to do or what I have to do. It's inside my own head that is making all of these unreasonable demands and attaching meaning to something that doesn't have meaning. Like, I'm not lazy because I didn't get it recorded. There were circumstances. I'm still getting it recorded. I'll be a few days later. We are so hard on ourselves, and this is something that I am becoming more and more aware of.
Speaker 1:So I put together a worksheet for thought reframing for you. So here's the thought that is negative 80% of the time, and 95% of the time it's a thought that you had yesterday, that you actually didn't catch and didn't do anything about. So you've got your thought. And then the other side of the page is the reframe, the importance of reframing, of catching your thought. One of the thoughts that came to me is Rhonda, you are such a wimp. Well, would you say that to somebody who called you up and say, hey, listen, you know what I'm not feeling great. I was outside and I slipped, and you know I'm feeling really still up. Would you tell them to quit being such a whiff? Oh, you wouldn't. You would say, oh, that is so too bad. Like, is there anything that I can do? You know, you just need to rest, you need to just not do anything for a little bit until your, your body kind of absorbs things. Well, so the reframe is, rhonda, you need to take a beat to just absorb your fall and what happened and just rest and be okay in it.
Speaker 1:Another one that comes, I don't know, reframe that to. I'm learning what if is a great one? How can I, instead of making these negative statements, phrasing it in a different way, so I'm saying, could be in such a whim? How can I honor what my body's just and be okay with changing my schedule Like, oh, yeah, it's important. I mean, I'm learning all about this. And here I am, 65 years into life, and struggling with what's up in this noggin of mine and what it is that I'm saying to myself. I am sharing this because I need it. I need it badly and I need to learn how to reframe. So if you want to get that worksheet, just email me, rhonda, at RhondaDelaneycom, and I'll put it in the show notes. But I love to hear from people and I'd love to hear some of your reframes.
Speaker 1:Another reframe for me is you haven't finished your ads. Why haven't you finished your ads? And being okay with? I am finishing my ads and will continue to work towards completion Instead of beating myself up that I have had to adjust the schedule because my brain and my body haven't been functioning at optimum levels. Oh dear, we're quite a thing, us humans. That's it for this week. We'll talk to you again next week.
Speaker 1:Well, thanks for joining me today. Just a quick reminder if you were not on my email list, go to my website, rondadelaneycom, and there's a place there that you can subscribe, keep you up to date on all things people, gardening and leadership. And also a reminder that the Raving Fans Society app is available on the Apple Store and the Google Store. I do have a free membership in there that you'll be able to access some of my material. And then there's also a paid membership, and right now it's $49 a month and you will receive access to all of my material, all of the teaching content, including a resource library that will really help you along, as well as group coaching every month and then quarterly bringing in guests that will talk on topics that pertain to small business owners and leadership. Thanks again for listening and we'll see you again next week.